I was looking through my past posts on FB and found this post on 7th September 2013. Keep in mind that I’ve not yet met my husband then. So yeah… Heheh. Just a copy paste (plus a bitt of pictures). ^^
Last night I was browsing through all my tagged photos while waiting for the school’s system to work (which it didn’t in the end). Photos from 2008 till this year. Thousands over photos and no doubt I missed all those moments, and deep in my heart I wanted it to happen again. That’s when life was carefree. I had the life that I’ve always wanted.
Today, while listening to a talk by Abdurrahman Green on TV9, it struck me real hard.
He mentioned, Allah SWT will ask in Judgment Day, “What did you do with your youth???”.
I was dumbfounded.
What have I done with my youth?
I didn’t really have lots of major sins to start with (I hope). Yet all along I thought I knew what was right, and what was wrong… But I realised I was totally wrong.
What did I do for Allah SWT back then? Hmm… Just praying…on and off. Wore the headscarf…whenever I feel like it. Actually, praying and wearing the headscarf are already mandatory in Islam and should not even have any questions put to it!
So what did I do extra for Allah SWT? Hmm… That’s a tough question. I did almost nothing for Him.
Ever since I was young, I thought my life was a miracle. I told many people that my life was a miracle. It was a hard life but there’s always ease. Alhamdulillah.
Then came a point when Allah SWT really put me into a real test. I was crying every night. I was pleading to Him to stop everything that was happening. But now I realised, Allah SWT put me through all those tests cz He loves me.
Through tests, we’ll improve and hence become a better person. Yet we still have a choice and make the decision.
There was another time, Allah SWT put me to a test, but I just drowned deeper. I made a wrong decision cz my heart was as hard as a bullet proof shield. Then He tested me further. Alhamdulillah I was given the chance to taubat. May Allah SWT accept my taubat.
Those who were wondering why I was always changing, truth is, I was searching for the real purpose of life. It’s through trial and error that Allah SWT will eventually put you somewhere you really deserve.
Who says I don’t miss listening to music? I do miss the frequent karaoke sessions I used to have.
Who says I don’t miss going out with my friends? I do miss having lots of laughter and crap talk at some coffee shops.
Who says I don’t miss being a camp instructor? I do freaking miss being a crazy instructor. I had that dream of being a camp instructor when I was in primary school!
Who says I don’t miss being loved? I do miss so badly having a boyfriend to share my life with. (I’M MARRIED NOW! YAY ALHAMDULILLAH! xD)
But I know… I had to let all of that go in order to fill my heart with the One. I made so much mistakes in my life. And I will never escape from doing mistakes. I know I have to prevent it before it happens.
We’re always waiting to be tested THEN we’ll improve. But like what Abdurrahman Green says, we’ve to put into our mentality to keep improving! So when tests come, we’ll embrace it and improve further.
We’re here in this dunia with the sole purpose of worshipping Allah SWT. He’s the One who created life and death. He puts us into this dunia to make known which of us is the best. Whose action has ihsan/ excellence/ goodness/ correctness.
There are three ingredients in our actions in order to be accepted:
1. Iman – Goodness without Iman is useless in the day of judgment.
2. Ikhlas – Actions must be for the sake of Allah SWT.
3. Has to be correct – It must be according to Syariah.
Nowadays many have Iman and Ikhlas but they don’t follow the Syariah. When this happens, it’s a new innovation! And when these new innovations in ‘ibadah happened, we’re abandoning Sunnah. Na’uzubillah.
I can pass on knowledge everyday on my FB. Many say it serves as reminders to them. However the main question is, how did you act on the knowledge? And in Judgment Day, we’ll be asked that question.
Whenever you received a knowledge, doesn’t matter through FB or talks or anywhere, ask yourself: How am I gonna translate this knowledge into action?
This world is just a perfect testing ground. It’s not permanent. But bear in mind, whatever actions we’re doing in this world, gonna be permanent in the Hereafter.
Regretting whilst you’re in your grave is too late. Regret now and repent, it’s not too late yet.
Those who want to change but need that extra push, you can approach me. I’ll be more than willing to help and encourage you. InsyaAllah we’ll change together in the path of Allah SWT.
May Allah SWT see our struggle. Jannah is only for those courageous ones.