Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb.
InsyaAllah we’re going to meet with this blessed month of Ramadhan again. Time flies so fast and I can still remember vividly of the last Ramadhan I had. MasyaAllah. That was the best Ramadhan I’ve ever had. And my husband also told me that the last Ramadhan was his best too. We don’t know of each other’s existence yet during the last Ramadhan, but we’re both hoping that this coming Ramadhan would be even better now that we’ve each other. InsyaAllah.
So this post is just gonna be a sharing from my Ramadhan experiences.
For 21 years, I don’t really know what’s so special about Ramadhan. They say it’s a blessed month, but I just found it a blessed month because we can now feel and somewhat understand those unfortunate people who don’t have food to eat everyday. So for 21 years during Ramadhan, I still lived my life the same way as how I normally did daily except that I stopped eating and drinking from fajr till dusk.
I fasted because it’s the month of Ramadhan, not really for the sake of Allah SWT.
Ignorance. That’s what actually happened. I didn’t take the extra effort to get to know what Ramadhan really is. I didn’t take the extra effort to improve myself as a Muslimah. Actually, I didn’t even know I had to be better than I already was. I thought I was doing fine. For the past few years before the last Ramadhan, I didn’t make the effort for terawih. Of cz I was busy with some stuffs, but I just made excuses for myself. I was just hoping that
Allah knows I really wanna go for terawih but I didn’t have the time. Well yeah. Who am I lying to? The God of the Universe?
PS: This post is not to boast how good or pious I am. I’m just sharing based on my own experience and I hope it would be beneficial to all of you who want to change for the better too. Let’s motivate one another to Jannah, yeah? 😀
So what changed me till last Ramadhan was my best one?
Of cz I didn’t change overnight. I didn’t just suddenly wake up on first Ramadhan and started reading Qur’an, go for terawih every night and wake up for Qiyam every single time in the middle of the night. I realised I started months before Ramadhan arrived. And I didn’t expect that all these baby steps I took were going to reward me with the best Ramadhan ever.
I did something as simple as renewing my intention. Renewing intention is simple but to persevere and take the courage to change, that’s the difficult part. However, it will be easy if you’re sincere with your intentions cz you will not let anyone or syaitan bring your spirit down. If in the past I did something just for the sake of doing it, now I tell myself that I need to do it for the sake of Allah SWT and if I do it right, Allah SWT will love me more. In the end, it doesn’t matter if we say we love Allah, what matters the most is that Allah SWT loves us back. Everyone wants to go to Jannah, but it’s only through Allah’s mercy that we can be there. Of cz we won’t know if we’re deserving of His Jannah, but we’ll just try hard. Allah SWT has given us guidelines and insyaAllah if we abide to it, we won’t go astray.
The next thing I did was to take up Iqra’ class. If there’s one thing I could regret, I regret not putting effort in my Qur’an recitation. Way back during my weekly Madrasah days, my Ustazah told me I can start reading the Qur’an. I was 10 then. However for 11 years since I could read the Qur’an, I’ve never completed reading Surah Al-Baqarah. Hence, last year April, I decided to join my mum with her Iqra’ class. I started from scratch again. Once the Ustazah in my Iqra’ class gave me the green light to start reading the Qur’an, I took the effort to read the Qur’an every single. I went to my sister, my brother or whomever that can correct my recitation. And when Ramadhan came, I make it a point to complete the whole Qur’an in that month. It wasn’t easy of cz. With my tongue that’s still very stiff and my disability to know the next letter swiftly, it was challenging. However so, with the mery of Allah SWT, I did it. Alhamdulillah.
To start the habit of waking up in the middle of the night for prayers wasn’t an easy thing to pick up. But I heard there’s no boundaries between you and Allah SWT when you wake up for tahajud and ask for anything for Allah SWT in your prayers. That’s what motivated me to wake up for tahajud. I had a lot of things to ask from Allah SWT. I was desperate for Allah SWT to listen to me. If you really really want it, you will find all the strength to wake up to talk to the Owner of the heart – Allah. Try it, it’s guaranteed to work. When it’s Ramadhan, I tried going for Qiyamulail for the first time ever and I went for a few times. And for all those times, I went alone! I was staying at Johor Bahru last year, and I’d go to Masjid Sultan in Singapore for Qiyam. Hehe, it’s just bcz I felt safer being in Singapore’s masjid in the middle of the night. Of cz, please ask your parents for permission first before going Qiyam, especially when you’re alone.
I also started reading up on the live of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). I felt like a high-class hypocrite when I declared my love for him yet I didn’t know much about him. I couldn’t even mention at least 3 great things that our beloved Prophet has done for the Ummah, yet I proudly say I love him. And so, I started looking up on books about Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), feel his presence, and try to emulate his Sunnah. I even went for class on Women Around the Messenger (that’s where I met my husband. hehe.), and try my best to emulate the actions and characters of the Mothers of all Believers. I also started reading the tafsir of the Qur’an. There are a lot of things in the Qur’an that made me realised how much of a hypocrite I was.
Scrap all the music and listen to Qur’an recitation, zikir and selawat in it’s pure form. This was of cz, a very tough thing to do. I had to delete all songs in my phone and replace it with something much better. They say “my life is nothing without music”, they’ve obviously never tried listening to Qur’an recitation, zikir and selawat! Listen to it with an open heart and insyaAllah your heart will be at it’s most peaceful. Also! When you caught yourself singing, quickly “scold” yourself and start doing zikir. Keep your mouth busy with zikir and selawat. It gonna take a while to get this habit, but insyaAllah you’ll start doing zikir and selawat subconsciously! 😀
And during Ramadhan, what’s a day of fasting if you don’t complete it with terawih prayers? Alhamdulillah during the last Ramadhan, although how tired I was, I’ll still go to the masjid for terawih. Even the few times I didn’t manage to catch terawih at the masjid, I’ll still do terawih on my own. It’s all about whether you’re willing or not.
There are of cz a lot of other small things that I did. Like improving my hijab from head to toe, stop talking to the opposite gender without any purpose, lessen my idle talking, going to the masjid whenever I can, etc.
InsyaAllah all of us will have the best Ramadhan than the last one. Let’s make do’a for one another. Not only for those in Singapore, but for all of our Muslims brothers and sisters all over the world. Remember them when we’re having our sahoor and when we’r breaking fast. We’ve so much food spread on our table whereas there are others from the other part of the world have not even a grain of rice to start their fast with. Do lots of charity. Whenever you’ve the chance to donate for the poor, do so. Charity doesn’t decrease your wealth, it increases it.
So for this Ramadhan, with my husband by my side, I hope it would be a more meaningful one. And being in Jordan, in an Islamic country, it’s gonna be a whole new Ramadhan experience for us. However so, I wish for each and everyone of you to pray for my health. Doctors said I’m having gastritis. The last Ramadhan, on the very last day of Ramadhan, I sent myself to the hospital (cz I was at the masjid alone doing Qiyam. lol. Downside of going Qiyam alone.) because I kept vomiting. I went to the hospital a few times after that because of gastritis. My husband too has a similar problem to mine, except that his is not as chronic as mine, Alhamdulillah. So please please please, keep my husband and I in your prayers.
All in all, while improving on yourself, do as much kindness as possible. Emulate our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) actions and characters, for he is the best of creation.
Last but not least, forgive me if I’ve hurt any of you intentionally or unintentionally. For all the good things come from Allah SWT, and the bad ones come from myself. May we all reap the most rewards from this blessed month of Ramadhan. And even after Ramadhan, may we continue with these good habits so that we can get a better Ramadhan after this if we’re destined to meet with the next. Let’s do everything for the sake of Allah SWT, and for the love for our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).