Make this Ramadhan Better than the Last.


Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb.

InsyaAllah we’re going to meet with this blessed month of Ramadhan again. Time flies so fast and I can still remember vividly of the last Ramadhan I had. MasyaAllah. That was the best Ramadhan I’ve ever had. And my husband also told me that the last Ramadhan was his best too. We don’t know of each other’s existence yet during the last Ramadhan, but we’re both hoping that this coming Ramadhan would be even better now that we’ve each other. InsyaAllah.

So this post is just gonna be a sharing from my Ramadhan experiences.

For 21 years, I don’t really know what’s so special about Ramadhan. They say it’s a blessed month, but I just found it a blessed month because we can now feel and somewhat understand those unfortunate people who don’t have food to eat everyday. So for 21 years during Ramadhan, I still lived my life the same way as how I normally did daily except that I stopped eating and drinking from fajr till dusk.

I fasted because it’s the month of Ramadhan, not really for the sake of Allah SWT.

Ignorance. That’s what actually happened. I didn’t take the extra effort to get to know what Ramadhan really is. I didn’t take the extra effort to improve myself as a Muslimah. Actually, I didn’t even know I had to be better than I already was. I thought I was doing fine.  For the past few years before the last Ramadhan, I didn’t make the effort for terawih. Of cz I was busy with some stuffs, but I just made excuses for myself. I was just hoping that Allah knows I really wanna go for terawih but I didn’t have the time. Well yeah. Who am I lying to? The God of the Universe?

PS: This post is not to boast how good or pious I am. I’m just sharing based on my own experience and I hope it would be beneficial to all of you who want to change for the better too. Let’s motivate one another to Jannah, yeah? 😀

So what changed me till last Ramadhan was my best one?

Of cz I didn’t change overnight. I didn’t just suddenly wake up on first Ramadhan and started reading Qur’an, go for terawih every night and wake up for Qiyam every single time in the middle of the night. I realised I started months before Ramadhan arrived. And I didn’t expect that all these baby steps I took were going to reward me with the best Ramadhan ever.

I did something as simple as renewing my intention. Renewing intention is simple but to persevere and take the courage to change, that’s the difficult part. However, it will be easy if you’re sincere with your intentions cz you will not let anyone or syaitan bring your spirit down. If in the past I did something just for the sake of doing it, now I tell myself that I need to do it for the sake of Allah SWT and if I do it right, Allah SWT will love me more. In the end, it doesn’t matter if we say we love Allah, what matters the most is that Allah SWT loves us back. Everyone wants to go to Jannah, but it’s only through Allah’s mercy that we can be there. Of cz we won’t know if we’re deserving of His Jannah, but we’ll just try hard. Allah SWT has given us guidelines and insyaAllah if we abide to it, we won’t go astray.

The next thing I did was to take up Iqra’ class. If there’s one thing I could regret, I regret not putting effort in my Qur’an recitation. Way back during my weekly Madrasah days, my Ustazah told me I can start reading the Qur’an. I was 10 then. However for 11 years since I could read the Qur’an, I’ve never completed reading Surah Al-Baqarah. Hence, last year April, I decided to join my mum with her Iqra’ class. I started from scratch again. Once the Ustazah in my Iqra’ class gave me the green light to start reading the Qur’an, I took the effort to read the Qur’an every single. I went to my sister, my brother or whomever that can correct my recitation. And when Ramadhan came, I make it a point to complete the whole Qur’an in that month. It wasn’t easy of cz. With my tongue that’s still very stiff and my disability to know the next letter swiftly, it was challenging. However so, with the mery of Allah SWT, I did it. Alhamdulillah.

To start the habit of waking up in the middle of the night for prayers wasn’t an easy thing to pick up. But I heard there’s no boundaries between you and Allah SWT when you wake up for tahajud and ask for anything for Allah SWT in your prayers. That’s what motivated me to wake up for tahajud. I had a lot of things to ask from Allah SWT. I was desperate for Allah SWT to listen to me. If you really really want it, you will find all the strength to wake up to talk to the Owner of the heart – Allah. Try it, it’s guaranteed to work. When it’s Ramadhan, I tried going for Qiyamulail for the first time ever and I went for a few times. And for all those times, I went alone! I was staying at Johor Bahru last year, and I’d go to Masjid Sultan in Singapore for Qiyam. Hehe, it’s just bcz I felt safer being in Singapore’s masjid in the middle of the night. Of cz, please ask your parents for permission first before going Qiyam, especially when you’re alone.

I also started reading up on the live of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). I felt like a high-class hypocrite when I declared my love for him yet I didn’t know much about him. I couldn’t even mention at least 3 great things that our beloved Prophet has done for the Ummah, yet I proudly say I love him. And so, I started looking up on books about Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), feel his presence, and try to emulate his Sunnah. I even went for class on Women Around the Messenger (that’s where I met my husband. hehe.), and try my best to emulate the actions and characters of the Mothers of all Believers. I also started reading the tafsir of the Qur’an. There are a lot of things in the Qur’an that made me realised how much of a hypocrite I was.

One of the best books about our beloved Prophet (PBUH).

Scrap all the music and listen to Qur’an recitation, zikir and selawat in it’s pure form. This was of cz, a very tough thing to do. I had to delete all songs in my phone and replace it with something much better. They say “my life is nothing without music”, they’ve obviously never  tried listening to Qur’an recitation, zikir and selawat! Listen to it with an open heart and insyaAllah your heart will be at it’s most peaceful. Also! When you caught yourself singing, quickly “scold” yourself and start doing zikir. Keep your mouth busy with zikir and selawat. It gonna take a while to get this habit, but insyaAllah you’ll start doing zikir and selawat subconsciously! 😀

And during Ramadhan, what’s a day of fasting if you don’t complete it with terawih prayers? Alhamdulillah during the last Ramadhan, although how tired I was, I’ll still go to the masjid for terawih. Even the few times I didn’t manage to catch terawih at the masjid, I’ll still do terawih on my own. It’s all about whether you’re willing or not.

#wearwhite cz it’s Sunnah! 😀 (photo not mine)

There are of cz a lot of other small things that I did. Like improving my hijab from head to toe, stop talking to the opposite gender without any purpose, lessen my idle talking, going to the masjid whenever I can, etc.

InsyaAllah all of us will have the best Ramadhan than the last one. Let’s make do’a for one another. Not only for those in Singapore, but for all of our Muslims brothers and sisters all over the world. Remember them when we’re having our sahoor and when we’r breaking fast. We’ve so much food spread on our table whereas there are others from the other part of the world have not even a grain of rice to start their fast with. Do lots of charity. Whenever you’ve the chance to donate for the poor, do so. Charity doesn’t decrease your wealth, it increases it.

So for this Ramadhan, with my husband by my side, I hope it would be a more meaningful one. And being in Jordan, in an Islamic country, it’s gonna be a whole new Ramadhan experience for us. However so, I wish for each and everyone of you to pray for my health. Doctors said I’m having gastritis. The last Ramadhan, on the very last day of Ramadhan, I sent myself to the hospital (cz I was at the masjid alone doing Qiyam. lol. Downside of going Qiyam alone.) because I kept vomiting. I went to the hospital a few times after that because of gastritis. My husband too has a similar problem to mine, except that his is not as chronic as mine, Alhamdulillah. So please please please, keep my husband and I in your prayers.

All in all, while improving on yourself, do as much kindness as possible. Emulate our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) actions and characters, for he is the best of creation.

Last but not least, forgive me if I’ve hurt any of you intentionally or unintentionally. For all the good things come from Allah SWT, and the bad ones come from myself. May we all reap the most rewards from this blessed month of Ramadhan. And even after Ramadhan, may we continue with these good habits so that we can get a better Ramadhan after this if we’re destined to meet with the next. Let’s do everything for the sake of Allah SWT, and for the love for our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).




Dear My Muslim LGBTQ Brothers and Sisters…


Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb.

Dear My Muslim LGBTQ Brothers and Sisters…

There’s something we need to confess to you. We, straight Muslims, do not hate you. In fact, we have never hated you. True, we may seem aggressive with our acts of eradicating LGBTQ from the society but it’s not because we hate you. You are our brothers and sisters and we love you for the sake of Allah SWT. We love you and we don’t want you to get punished for your act. We know we are no one to say that you’re going to Hellfire, but it’s already clear in the Qur’an when Allah SWT says:

“Know they not that for those who oppose Allah and His apostle is the fire of Hell? Wherein they shall dwell. That is the supreme disgrace.” (al-Qur’an 9:63)

We love you so much, my dear brothers and sisters. Hell is not the place that you wanna be. It’s that last place that you wanna be. We give you reminders because we understand how much pain one will have to suffer in Hellfire. Again Allah SWT says in the Qur’an:

“… fear the Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, prepared for the disbelievers.” (al-Qur’an 2:24)

We know you feel the guilt. Keep feeling guilty, my brothers and sisters. Keep telling yourself that Allah SWT hates your action, cz you yourself know that it’s a sin. Don’t let anyone tell you that LGBTQ is acceptable in Islam. Know that you are better than those people who seem pious. Those “pious” people who are trying to re-interpret the Qur’an by saying that LGBTQ is acceptable in Islam, remember that it is just a deception of the devil. Know that these people can go up to kafir.

There’s a huge difference between a person who’s involved in LGBTQ but knows that it’s haram and a person who’s involved in LGBTQ  but says it’s okay in Islam. The former, insyaAllah may Allah grant him Hidayah, but for the latter, it’s already clear in the Qur’an that whomever disregards any part of Allah’s commandments, he is a disbeliever.

“… And whoever does not judge by what Allah has revealed – then it is those who are the disbelievers.” (al-Qur’an 5:44)

Interpretation by Ibn Abbas, recorded in Tafsir At-tabari: Whomever does not judge by the commands of Allah and he is against it, then he is a disbeliever. However, if he does not judge by the commands of Allah, yet acknowledges it, then he is a zalim fasik.

However my dear brothers and sisters, you still need to keep improving yourself. You need to keep seeking the truth. Don’t stop putting in effort to search for Allah SWT’s pleasure.

Haven’t you heard of Prophet Lut’s (peace be upon him) community? His community was involved in homosexual acts. Wild sex was widespread. They didn’t want to listen to Prophet Lut’s (peace be upon him) warnings and reminders. The situation was so bad, he prayed to Allah SWT to destroy his community. What happened to them after that? Allah SWT answered Prophet Lut’s (peace be upon him) prayers by commanding an angel to “scoop” the land they’re staying high up in the air and turn the land upside down, and within seconds the whole community was destroyed.

Haven’t you heard about the People of Pompeii? The community was similar to that of Prophet Lut’s (peace be upon him). They make a living from prostitution. Homosexuality was also widespread. It’s a city of sex. What happened to the community then? A nearby volcano erupted so violently, its lava destroyed the whole community yet Allah SWT preserved their body so perfectly so that we could learn from their mistakes. These are signs of Allah SWT’s anger.

So my dear brothers and sisters, how can homosexuality ever be acceptable in Islam?

Allah’s wisdom is so great that nothing can surpass it. We’re always talking about hijab. That’s why we even need to hijab when we’re in the same room with the same gender. Both men’s and women’s aurah when in front of the same gender are from the navel to the knees (knees included). We cannot be naked in front of anyone, except for your halal wife/husband. That’s the beauty of marriage. MasyaAllah. How much details Allah SWT has put into the rules and guidelines for us to live our daily lives and not even a single loophole in Islam.

Allah SWT even forbids us from cross-dressing. A lady can’t dress like a guy and a guy can’t dress like a lady. Even if a guy wears the headscarf just for sake of fun, it is haram. SubhanAllah. How strict our Lord is when it comes to this.

Again my homosexual brothers and sisters, we’re not against you. We will never humiliate you. Those who humiliate you are not one of us. We are here to give constant reminders to you. It may be hurtful going through the process of purification. No doubt, it will be very very hard to contain those urges and desires. But just think of your parents, if not for them, you’ll not see the world. You need both mother’s and father’s love and attention. You know both of them play very different roles. Can you imagine yourself being brought up by same sex parents? And knowing that you’re either adopted or your birth isn’t normal? Not knowing who’s your real parents or who your dad is? If you can’t imagine, then please spare the emotional torture from your future child(ren). Plus, you know how important breastfeeding is to newborn. How can you have the heart depriving a newborn of the best nutrition?

Allah is great. He wants to protect us. Have we not read of the statistic that proportionally, more homosexuals are infected by HIV than heterosexuals? Can’t you see how much Allah SWT, the One who created you, loves you? He knows you more than you know yourself. He forbids homosexuality as He knows how much detrimental effects it will bring to you, to the community.

It’s not too late, my dear brothers and sister. You may have a very dark past. You may feel that your sin is too big for Allah SWT to forgive. But know that the only sin that Allah SWT won’t forgive is syirk (associating partners to Allah SWT). Allah SWT says in the Qur’an:

“Allah says: “O My servants who have transgressed against their souls, do not despair of Allah’s mercy, for Allah forgives all sins. It is He Who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (al-Quran 39:53)

Remember that whenever you wanna repent and there’s something inside you saying that you’re not deserving of Allah’s forgiveness, that’s not your voice. That’s syaitan who’s whispering into your ears. You’re better than syaitan and iblis. Know that while you’re struggling to stop loving the same gender, there’s also a straight person who’s struggling not to be in a haram relationship.

I know this post may not change you, but my only hope is that for you to keep seeking the truth. My only advise is that to not miss any prayers. I remembered at one point of time how far I was from Allah SWT, but I keep telling myself that I should never miss any prayers. How difficult it was to find the time or place to pray, I still struggled hard to stop making excuses for myself. At that moment, I didn’t know what actions will make Allah SWT happy, but I knew the things that Allah SWT hated. So I tried my best to refrain from doing things that brought pleasure to me, but hatred to Allah SWT.

If you always club, drink, smoke, have promiscuous sex, or any sinful acts, avoid it one by one. No one is asking you to change drastically. For drastic change will bear drastic impact. If you can handle the drastic impact, then Alhamdulillah for you. If not, then do it one at a time. What’s most important is that you have the intention to change, only for the One. Keep making do’a to the Lord of the universe. Know that if He can control the entire universe, controlling your heart is just a small matter. Just ask for it. He doesn’t need you to survive, you need Him to survive.

Life is just a challenge. Everyone has their own challenges. If you think your challenge is the biggest, know that there’s someone else in this world who’s struggling to live; no food, no place to sleep, no parents, don’t know if tomorrow a bullet gonna pierce through his/her head.

You can be the happiest person. You don’t need a human’s love to make you feel complete. All you need is Allah SWT’s and Rasulullah SAW’s love. To have your halal spouse to love you, is a bonus. You choose your own happiness.

“A happy person once said: “The beautiful day is the day on which we have control of our affairs and our affairs do not control us. It is the day on which we control our desires and we are not controlled by them like slaves.”” (extracted from the book ‘You Can Be The Happiest Women In The World’)

Last not but not least, be friends with those who love Allah SWT. Be in the environment that gives you the positive vibe. Know that if someone loves Allah SWT, it doesn’t only come from the heart. If someone truly and sincerely loves Him, from the heart it will automatically show through from one’s appearance and actions. Be with those who truly and sincerely love Him.

How contradictory and hurtful it may sound, but know that those who support your sinful acts are actually the one who don’t love you. Those who stop and acknowledge you are the ones who truly love you. Life is temporary and we don’t want you to live “happily” only for a short period of time. We want you to be happy forever, now and till the Hereafter. InsyaAllah.

May Allah SWT guide us always and never make us go astray.


Hijabi-sta? Hijabisters? Modern Muslims?


Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb., My Beautiful Akhawat. 🙂

Mona Lisa greets “Assalamualaikum”. xD

Alhamdulillah we’re given another day to worship Allah SWT and make taubah (repentance) as we never know when will our last breathe gonna be.  Make everyday an opportunity for us to improve and struggle in Allah SWT’s path. This post gonna be on my past posts from FB about hijab; a topic that can never go outdated. So I’m really sorry if this post gonna look familiar!

For current hijabi: Read this with an open mind and heart. May we continue improving ourselves as Muslimah.

For future hijabi: Same goes like current hijabi, however let’s start showing your love for Allah not only from your heart, but through the way you dress too. 🙂 May we pray for one another, insyaAllah.

I had a long chat with a close friend about Muslimah’s attire these days. She has been wearing jubah ever since she decided to change for the better. When she first accepted a job offer at a shop selling Muslimah apparels, she was startled when she was asked to wear “contemporary Muslimah attire” to work and fashioned her scarf in a manner that it’s attractive. So basically no black jubah and no normal square tudung. So much for a Muslimah apparels shop huh?

This has been my worry ever since Allah has granted me the ability to look at things from a different light. And the biggest problem with us Muslims today, we do things without knowing the wisdom of doing so. We follow blindly what the majority are doing and unless we’re always striving to seek for the truth, then we will always being pulled by the nose like a buffalo.

Have we ever asked ourselves, “What’s the purpose and wisdom of Hijab?”

Hijab in it’s literal meaning is ‘cover’ (noun). Eg. She wears the headscarf as a cover to protect her hair from the sun.

However nowadays ‘hijab’ is commonly misinterpreted as ‘headscarf’ and well, people now equate hijab to headscarf.

So what’s the purpose of hijab? When we hijab, it shows piety and obedience towards Allah SWT. It’s a form of ‘ibadah (worship). Just like how you put lots of effort in your prayers (i.e. maintaining khusyuk, observing ‘rukun solat’, covering aurah, etc), the same effort should be put to any other acts of ‘ibadah that Allah SWT has commanded us to perform! Why we’ve never tried praying with our hands up instead of putting above our belly button or why we’ve never tried praying without our heads covered instead? Have we ever asked ourselves why? Why we didn’t compromise any of His commandments when praying but we compromised a lot when it comes to hijab? Both are ‘ibadah, right? Hence, we should give our 100% when performing ‘ibadah!

If only people know how strong the word ”ibadah’ is, then I  guess we don’t even have to look into the wisdom behind hijab.

However, I completely understand this because I once failed to answer “what’s the purpose of hijab?”. The only reason I wore the headscarf was because my mum told me if I didn’t wear one, my head will be dragged in the hellfire. Na’uzubillah min zalik. Yet, was the Hijab back then serves its actual purpose?

Uhhuhhh, I was wearing long shawls covering my chest and back, in the end, that’s what we perceived Hijab as, right? A piece of cloth to cover the hair, and I thot I was doing better than the other Muslimah because I covered more than what others normally do. But I was wrong. Totally wrong. I was still wearing body hugging clothes with pretty2 colours and prints. I can never step out of the house without concealer, eyeliner and coloured contact lenses. Socks? Ahhh! It’s so uncomfortable. I mean like, who would want to look at my feet, right?

Besides that, not only my appearance was appealing, Iwas still the same person before I started donning the hijab. My sense of shame didn’t increase one bit. I was still the too-friendly Shikin that I’ve always been. I have too many “bros” and even my own sister called me a tomboy. Oh, selfie on my social media sites? Countless.

So really, what’s the wisdom behind hijab?

“And come not near unto zina…” (Al-Isra’:32)

I always quote the Verse above for a lot of my postings. There are many ways that people can come near unto zina. From the way you dress, to the way you interact with the opposite gender (or same gender).

The wisdom for Hijab is to help our brothers to lower their gazes. The wisdom for Hijab is to help us not come near the gate of zina.

We have been fooled by the society. We are tricked into the Syaitan’s trap. Syaitan has failed to stop us from not donning the Hijab, so he changed his strategy by making it looks as if we are wearing the Hijab the way it was supposed to be. If before becoming a Hijabi we didn’t have a bf, but after becoming one we have a supposedly pious bf, then I would say that the Syaitan has won. Please read my recent post on “Islamic Couple” if you’re indulging in this type of relationship. 🙂

“If syaitan has failed to make Muslimah let go of her hijab, then syaitan will whisper to Muslimah to hijab in a way that is against the Syari’at.”

No doubt every girl wants to look pretty, but if we dress to impress the creations, know that you will never achieve Paradise in this dunia – peace and tranquillity. And if the Hijab didn’t change you from a loud and crazy person to a calm and peaceful person, then it has not served it’s purpose too.

Yes, if you wanna be loud, crazy, pretty, do it when there’s no non-mahram brothers around. The next time you’re stepping out from the house, ask yourself these questions :

  • Who am I dressing for?
  • Am I really dressing for Allah SWT?
  • Am I helping my non-mahram brothers to lower their gazes?
  • And now that I’m dressed this way, will I have more self control over my ‘over-the-top’ personality?
...but not through the way you dress please.

…but not through the way you dress please.

Akhawat, do not be fooled by trends. Know the purpose and wisdom of Hijab. There are so many ways to express yourself, but please don’t do it thru your Hijab.

You’re representing yourself as a Muslimah, as a woman of Islam. A Muslimah shies away from the looks of the opposite gender and prevents herself from being looked at. The more adornments you’ve on yourself, the more make up you’ve on your face, the more eyes you’ll attract.

Touch your heart and purify your intentions. If you truly do it for Allah SWT, you’ll abide the rules of Hijab set by Him. Do not be swayed by what others have to say cz they don’t matter but Allah SWT does. During Judgment Day, you’re accountable for your actions to Allah SWT, not them. 

Save your money from shopping unnecessary items. Give charity instead.

Don’t worry about not getting married for not being able to attract the opposite gender. I was totally covered (except eyes and palms) when I met my husband. I’m 22 and married now cz I had total faith in Allah SWT that all the things He ordered us to do will only bring benefits to us. And only if we take a while to think of the wisdom in all of His commandments, then we will surely execute it properly.

Know what we’re trying to fight for. If we can’t win the fight over the government with this Hijab issue, then let’s keep striving to fight our inner desire (nafsu). After all, isn’t that’s the true meaning of jihad? To struggle and strive in His path.

Love Allah SWT so much. So much so that you need only Allah in your life and just like a faithful lover, you’ll do anything for the One you love.

May Allah SWT see our struggles and may He give us the strength to always strive in His path, Fisabilillah.


Ps: this post is not to boast about how pious I am. In fact, I am no pious than anyone of you but knowing the purpose and wisdom are what that differ us.