How I Met My Husband

Bismillaahirrahmaanirraheem…

Assalamualaikum Wr. Wb.

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On 20th December 2013 I got married to a beautiful man. My love story isn’t about love at first sight or about a girl waiting for her prince charming. It’s all about sacrificing and struggling to stop loving a human and learn to love again.

I first met my husband late September 2013 when he was an Ustaz conducting “Women Around the Messenger” session.  The first session he shared with us about himself. And I was kind of shocked that at the age of 23, he’s already an Ustaz and his knowledge is just… MasyaAllah. Another thing that caught my attention was the fact that he just graduated from the university that I am currently in. Of cz, even though I was impressed by his biography, I never knew he’s gonna be the one.

At around that period, I was very eager about Islam and had lots of questions in my mind. Hence when he gave us his number, on that night itself I shot him with all the questions that have been bothering me. Hah. Well, he did say to us to ask him anything if we’ve questions. Hehe.

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On the second session, he shared with us the first Mother of Believers, Khadijah Bint Khuwalid r.a.. Khadijah r.a was married twice before she met our beloved Prophet Muhammad SAW. She was 40 at that time and she told herself that she will never get married any more. However when she met Prophet SAW (he wasn’t a prophet yet at that point of time), she was attracted at his commendable attitude and great characteristics. She thought she wasn’t deserving of Prophet SAW therefore she asked her friend, Nafisah, to propose him on her behalf. Well, girls being girls, we were all awing at how courageous Khadijah r.a was. Haha.

That night, out of curiosity I asked him how did he managed to be an Ustaz, graduated with a degree, when he’s just 23. I asked this out of pure intention cz I wanted to know if I can graduate fast too. Hehe. He then shared with me and from that, I got to know he’s single. FYI, I was just at my first semester, first year of school.

Well, a lot of things went through my head. I see myself being in the position of Khadijah r.a. (of cz I’m not even near her good characteristics). It was that year too that I forced myself out of a relationship that I know Allah SWT will never favour. And due to my past, I feel like I’m not deserving of an Ustaz. I felt inferior.

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However, decisions are not for us to make. My dad always advise me this, “I won’t decide, Mama won’t decide and you don’t decide. Let Allah SWT decide for you.” Indeed, it’s true.

TIPS: Ever since I decided to dedicate my life to Allah SWT (few months before I met my husband), I tried to start the habit of waking up for Qiyammulail. All I needed from Allah SWT was to make my heart stronger. Whenever I feel my heart’s about to turn weak, I will pray “Ya Allah, fill my heart with Your love and Rasulullah’s love before you fill it with human’s love.”. I cringe out of fear whenever I made that prayer cz I’ll never know how long it will ever take for my heart to be filled fully with His love and Rasulullah’s love. Yet, Allah SWT showed His mercy.

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Although I knew I had so much disabilities in me, Allah SWT still gave me the courage to propose to my husband. I knew I got that courage from the consistent Qiyammulail that I did. After consulting my parents, I proposed to him. Proposing in this sense means to tell the guy your intention for marriage. Not by bringing your family to meet his family. No doubt I was nervous that he would give a straight rejection to my proposal, but instead he coaxed me by reiterating about Khadijah r.a. Yet, I didn’t put any hopes on him.

TIPS: Now that I’ve proposed to him, I included Solah Istikharah into my Qiyammualail routine. Like I mentioned earlier, I didn’t put any hopes on him cz I knew at this stage it’s easy for me to fall for him (he’s too nice la pleaseee…). I never fail to ask Allah SWT to strengthen my heart and Iman. I guarded my heart so much, so much so that if suddenly his family rejected the proposal it will not be a huge blow for me. At the same time, my husband also did Solah Istikharah.

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I gave a hard copy picture of me with sister to my husband. As I was wearing the niqab, he can’t possible stalk my fb and check out how I look like. Hehe.

Since marriage is a lifelong decision, it took his family quite some time to respond to my proposal. My husband just told me recently while we were at the airport waiting for the arrival of my sister-in-law in Jordan, what was the major sign that he knew his Istikharah was answered? He said his sister was sceptical of the proposal at first, hence he prayed to Allah SWT that if I’m really the one for him, change his sister’s heart to accept me. Soon after, miracle did happen. Subhanallah. How great Allah SWT is? So don’t be afraid to ask for specific signs. InsyaAllah if it’s really what Allah SWT has planned for you, it will not miss you.

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I proposed to my husband on 29th September and it took a month before our families met. On 3rd November they came and ask for my hand in marriage and Alhamdulillah we set the date for solemnisation on 20th December. Oh! I could still remember the adrenaline rush when I had to take off my niqab for my husband to see how I looked like in person. I almost fainted. I could feel blood gushing up my brain. Not exaggerating at all okay. Haha. My sister was laughing silently witnessing the whole process. Grrr. Anyways, it was fate that two of my husband’s brothers will be having their wedding ceremony concurrently on the 21st December and that’s how our solemnisation date was decided. Therefore, we called it the Mega Wedding because when will you ever see 3 newly wed brothers on the same dais? Hehe.

TIPS: Even when I was at the masjid waiting for the solemnisation ceremony to take place, I still guarded my heart so badly. Anything can happen even at the very last minute. Only when the Qadi confirmed that the Akad was successful, I finally start to love my husband.

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It was unbelievable. Just from that one liner of the Akad, we’re finally married. Just by that one liner, what used to be haram is now halal for you. Looking at your spouse, you’ll be rewarded. Holding your spouse’s hand, you’re rewarded. MasyaAllah. How great marriage is? Haha.

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find tranquillity in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” [Ar-Rum:21]

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Alhamdulillah for my husband. He’s the best I could ever ask for. He’s so gentle yet firm. He’s helpful in doing the house chores. He’s kind to everyone. MasyaAllah. I can just go on and on praising him. Everyday I learn something new about him and everyday is an opportunity for me to grow.

MAJOR TIPS: Find a husband who knows about the life of Muhammad SAW. Not only knows, but emulates our Prophet’s characteristics.

Especially in the Malay community, it’s a taboo for a girl to propose to a guy. And I’ve this problem too with my grandmother. She refused to talked to me when she got to know that I proposed to my husband from someone whom read my fb post. So I appeal to those who wish to tell my grandmother that I wrote a whole post about how I proposed to my husband, tell her why I did it. Tell her that I did it because our first Mother of Believers did it. I don’t blame my grandmother for having that traditional mindset because this is the generation (& our parent’s generation) that it would be best to align to the Prophetic traditions. For a girl to propose, it takes great courage and it’s a noble thing to do if she does it the right way. Imagine if Khadijah r.a. didn’t propose to Rasulullah SAW?

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Bonus: A mother’s prayer is one of those prayers that will be answered. Since I was 15, my mum always told me to go to the masjid. She said who knows I’ll get an Ustaz as a husband. Subhanallah. How powerful a mother’s prayer for her child. Only after 7 years Allah SWT  answered her prayers. This just makes my faith in Allah SWT stronger.

Marrying is Sunnah. It comes with great sacrifices and a whole lot more reward. It will also increase your rizq. Yeap. I wouldn’t dwell on this, but I vouch on this. Of cz, for you to receive these rewards, your purpose of marriage must be because you want to be closer to Allah SWT. My formula of marriage is that, the closer you and your spouse are towards Allah SWT, naturally the closer you will be to your spouse. 

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VERY LAST TIPS: Make your wedding simple. Invite orphans or the less fortunate for your wedding feast. Be patient in any circumstances. Smile to your spouse. Make your household a peaceful place to live in. Strive to be united again in Jannah. InsyaAllah, your marriage will be filled with Allah SWT’s barakah.

I hope while sharing on how I met my husband, I’ve successfully managed to give some tips too. It’s all about pleasing the One who creates us. It’s about showing how sincere you are to Him and His Messenger through your actions and not merely through words. Life is a test and we’ve to struggle to attain His pleasure.

“Verily in the remembrance of God, do heart find rest.” {Ar-Rad:28]

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PS: Sorry for the spam of photos. Heheee. xD

WallahuAlam.

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7 thoughts on “How I Met My Husband

  1. farah says:

    Assalamu’alaikum, Shikin!
    Each time I think of this story that you told me personally, I can’t help but think that you’re such a brave lady. A brave lady who proposes to a man in order to attain halal love. MASHA ALLAH. It’s nice to read your inspiring story again, dear! 🙂 Anyway I hope your marriage will always be blissful. Take care and I miss you many many, Dino! ❤

    Much love,
    Fawaaaaah Nabilah

    • nurashikinsalim says:

      Waalaikumsalamwarahmatullah Kak Farawwwwrrr! I miss you! Aww. I hope I could eat your nasi minyak sooooon. Hehe. Must tell me k if you’ve your inspiring story soon. ^^

      Love you Makcik Kenit!

  2. Suhailah says:

    Salam sis shikin, jazakillah khayr for this inspiring post 🙂 Can i have your email address? I really need to ask you a few questions regarding somethings about relationships that have been really bothering me…

  3. Begum says:

    Assalamualaikum sis. Jazakillah khair for sharing your beautiful story! I’m just curious, how was your wedding ceremony like? Was there like pelamin etc? I am asking because I have been trying to find out the proper Islamic way of holding a wedding..

    • nurashikinsalim says:

      Waalaikumsalamwarahmatullah sis! Jazakumullahu khairan for reading my story. Hehe. Btw, I’d say my wedding is quite typical lah unfortunately. I didn’t want any ceremony after my nikah but my dad insisted that he wanted to sponsor for my walimah. So yeah, he sponsored. Huhu. But I try to keep all other things Islamic. Like keeping men and women segregated, tho that didn’t happen due to poor planning. During my side ceremony, I only wore one dress like Jubah. Oh yea, even tho we sat on the pelamin. But we always stand up and talk to those who were going to take pictures with us. Heh. We just hated looking like penguins on the pelamin. Huhu.

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