Assalamualaikum Wrt. Wbt.
Last week I blogged on mothers (click here to read). This time round, I’m going to blog about my fathers, InsyaAllah. Mothers are important, but we won’t be here in this dunya without the presence of fathers. Fathers play a vital role and at times, we underappreciate our fathers. Abah (my biological father) and Bapak (father-in-law) are two of the most awesomest men in my life.
Abah is my first hero. He is funny, firm, and such a caring father to his children. Since I am the last child, I am the baby of the family (not anymore ever since my nephew was born.. huhu), I choose to think that Abah loves me the most amongst my siblings because I am the most well behaved. Hehe. However so, Abah is fair toward all his children .
I remembered when I was in secondary school, when Abah called me and my friend saw me talking on the phone, I will always end the conversation with “I love you too” and my friends thought that I was talking to my non-existent boyfriend. Abah is never embarrassed to express his love toward his children. Yeap, even to my brothers. Even up till now, we are married and my sister has a child, he will still say “I love you” to us and Mama of course. MasyaAllah.
Abah may have make a number of wrong decisions in his life, but that’s because we are humans and we err. Even when things were hard in the past and we hated Abah’s decisions, Mama will always remind us “Last time when you were younger, Abah will always be the one to tie all of your shoelaces!”. We began to appreciate Abah again. Such small contribution yet huge impact. MasyaAllah.
Just like Mama, Abah played a huge role in my religious life too. I will always have Abah’s back whenever I talked to him about my every day struggles. Abah doesn’t like to on songs while we were on the road despite his love for music. He will either play religious CDs or he will be reciting the 99 names of Allah. He will always encourage me to memorise the 99 names and I have always enjoyed listening to my dad reciting it.
Up till now, I’ve always remembered Abah’s wise words when I told him of my intention to marry my husband and his wise words have been my advise to almost all of those ladies who approached me with the intention to marry. He says so beautifully “Abah won’t decide for you, Mama won’t decide for you, and you don’t decide for yourself. Let Allah decide for you”. MasyaAllah. I truly believe it’s because I listened to my dad, I did istikharah and I put my utmost faith in Allah, Alhamdulillah my husband is specially “handpicked” by Allah for me.
Moving on to Bapak. My husband was so close to being a valedictorian during his convocation but because he couldn’t be contacted, the committee gave the responsibility to someone else. He felt really devastated for not having the chance to be the one delivering the speech. He said if he had the chance, he wanted to share about Bapak’s struggle. So my husband shared with me instead and indeed Bapak is such an incredible man.
Bapak did not (and still does not) have the word “tired” in his dictionary while struggling during his younger days being a dad and the sole breadwinner to five little children. Bapak used to juggle three jobs. As bapak did not have any paper qualification, he had to work as a cleaner at different places. Bapak will come back home from work to have his meal, dozed off on the sofa for an hour or so, then made his way for the next job. MasyaAllah. Such incredible strength to feed the family and to make sure his children have proper education.
Bapak is a perfect living example of a husband who struggled really hard for the family while his wife becomes a stay at home mother and nurtures his children. Sound really backward and unattractive, but trust me, you will see the wisdom behind it. Take a look at just one of his children. Just one. Currently Bapak does not have to work anymore because his children can support his expenses, however because he is so used to working his entire life, he still keeps one of his jobs. Bapak also doesn’t like to be dependent on others. He just hates to burden anyone.
Bapak is such a generous man. Whenever Bapak meets my grandmother (Abah’s dad) or even her siblings, Bapak will never fail to give them some money. Bapak does not like to show off his generosity. Despite me being a daughter-in-law who should serve Bapak, Bapak never puts any expectation on me but instead he treats me as a student. He will always always always come to me when no one is around, pass me some extra allowance and then he will walk away quickly. MasyaAllah. He may not earn a lot, but he really gives a lot. And I really mean it. It’s a lot.
There’s just something about fathers that are amazing. They are protective, supportive and fearless. I remembered when I decided to wear the niqab and I told my family, Abah was the first one to give his full support. He did not allow anyone to talk negatively about my decision to don the niqab. He even went to the extent of reprimanding others when they try to talk me out about removing my niqab. Just like Abah, Bapak is equally protective and supportive of me with my niqab. MasyaAllah… My journey as a niqabi would be much tougher if it’s not for them. Alhamdulillah.
Ouh yeah… MasyaAllah. Both of Abah and Bapak loveeeeeee their grandchild(ren). Abah will go wherever my nephew is while Bapak always buys toys for his grandchildren. SubhanAllah, the way they entertain their grandchild(ren) is really adorable. At times I will look at them instead of my cute niece and nephews. Hehe. I really really hope one day Allah SWT will grant me the chance to witness Abah and Bapak playing with my own kids, insyaAllah.
Before I end, I want to give a shout out to Abah because I’m sure Abah will be reading this (sadly Bapak is not into social media). Abah! Thank you so much for driving me around to any destination ever since school days up till me being someone’s wife. You do not mind fetching and sending me in the wee hours from bus terminal even though you are tired from a whole day of appointments. I truly appreciate it and I love you so much! And I know you still love me the most up till now. Heheheeee…..
Oh my… Is it obvious that I’m a daddy’s girl? Heh. It’s difficult to see who Mama loves most because you know, it hurts if Mama were to give more attention on one of us. So a mother must act neutral although I know Mama also loves me the most. Hahahaha. Oh, hi there nephew.