Assalamualaikum Wr. Wbt.
MasyaAllah. Today marks the second year of our marriage. Time flies so fast when you’re with the person you love. I can still vividly remember how I met my husband (click here to read). I guess one of the reasons why it still remains fresh in my memory is because I’ve been sharing my story with quite a number of people who asked.
I never really knew what does it take to love someone for the sake of Allah. Before marrying my husband, I thought loving him for the sake of Allah is going to be simple; I just have to obey Allah’s commandments and I will naturally obey my husband. When I finally got married, I realised it wasn’t that simple to act it out.
For me, there is no such thing as honeymoon period. Honeymoon period to me is a myth. From the moment we are being declared as husband and wife, that’s when we start to shoulder our own respective responsibility that Allah SWT has set for us. Suddenly marriage sounds scary, huh? Nope, not really…
It is human nature that we are always wanting and demanding for our rights. Especially in marriage! However we will never find happiness and contentment in our marriage if half the time we are arguing about our rights.
Loving for the sake of Allah SWT would mean you fulfilling your responsibility towards Allah SWT. And knowing that you won’t be able to fulfil your responsibility completely if you do not be responsible over who Allah has put your responsibility under.
So how do we know what are our responsibilities? It’s right there, in the Quran and Sunnah. I won’t elaborate the details because I don’t wish to spark any debate and that’s not the objective of this post. All I wish to highlight is that, once we’ve performed our responsibility, then we are in the position to ask for our rights. Most of the time, you don’t even have to ask for it, it will come to you naturally because Allah SWT is pleased with you.
As of now, I am away from my husband for exactly two months now. Being in a long distance relationship is not easy. I remembered the first few days and weeks after my husband left, I felt empty. Since I’m schooling in Malaysia, going back to Singapore has been quite a challenge cz knowing that my husband isn’t there for me to pinch his chubby face.
My husband always reminds me that we are doing this for Allah SWT. He’s seeking knowledge and I am seeking knowledge for no one but Allah SWT. This is an ‘ibadah and this is our responsibility as ‘abid (slave) and khalifah (leader) of Allah SWT.
Whenever I feel like breaking down because I’m missing my husband so badly, I will remind myself again, this is Allah SWT’s way of giving me a chance to experience the real meaning of loving my husband for His sake. Maybe Allah SWT put us in this situation because we are becoming too dependent on each other. Now that I miss my husband, I learn to depend on Allah SWT again. Strengthening my relationship with Allah SWT directly strengthens my relationship with my husband, SubhanAllah.
Being apart from my husband also allows me to place my highest of tawakul on Allah SWT. I learn to leave my husband under the care of Allah SWT. Knowing that whatever happens, it’s the best that Allah SWT has planned for us.
So the next time when someone asks me, “how to love someone for the sake of Allah SWT?” I’d say ‘responsibility’ and ‘tawakul’. Once you are able to accept that, then you’ll be able to experience honeymoon period all day, every day and eternally, InsyaAllah.