Assalamualaikum Wr. Wbt.
Wow MasyaAllah… It’s been too long since I last posted on my blog. This will be my first (and insyaAllah not the last) post for the year. I’ve got quite a number of draft posts which I didn’t manage to complete. So let’s see if this gets published.. Hehe. And yeah… I’ve got the whole time to blog but I just decided to blog in the midst of my exam period. It always happens… Getting inspired at the wrong time. Huhu. Please make do’a for me! 😀
Anyway, before I start delving into the topic, I wish to acknowledge that from now on, I will be changing my writing style. InsyaAllah I will try to write more informally and leisurely because people have been coming up to me saying that they used the points in my blog for their official academic work. Oh noooo…. So insyaAllah with this new writing style, people won’t take my words like I am an academician cz really, I am not even near there. InsyaAllah maybe 10 years down the road you’ll be seeing my name on academic books and you can cite my name as much as you want. As of now, I am a nobody and you ain’t cite from a nobody, yo. Hehe… Okay so let’s go!
I am a undergraduate student, so it is my nature to always be meeting new people and when they see a ring on my finger they will hesitantly ask “erm… are you married?”. Of cz naturally when they hear me saying yes, I will receive this long array of questions. Huhu. One of their favourite questions “is your husband here (in the university) too?”. When I told them he is in Jordan, they say “Wah.. LDR…”. I asked “What is LDR?”. It is Long Distance Relationship. It amuses me at how much Malaysians love acronyms. Hehe..
So yeah… I have never thought of myself being in a LDR until they mentioned it to me. The first time my husband and I bided farewell was on 20 October 2015 and Alhamdulillah I managed to be reunited with him again in Jordan for 3 weeks during the semester break in Jan-Feb. So it’s been 7 months since the first goodbye and almost 4 months since the last goodbye. The next time I will be meeting my husband insyaAllah around in a week plus. YAYYY, ALHAMDULILLAH! WE DID IT!
I wouldn’t lie. Being in a LDR is not easy. Especially the first few weeks, it.was.tough. I remembered wanting to just give it all up and be with my husband right that minute. However, my husband will keep reminding me that we are doing this for no one but Allah SWT. We are here to pursue knowledge so that we are able to contribute back to the community with our own specialization. Especially for me, I do not want to be a pseudo academician who can just go on writing but has no substance. Huhu. And ultimately, seeking knowledge in the name of Allah, is every Muslim’s obligation.
At times I do feel guilty knowing that my husband’s well being is not looked after for. Especially when my husband had to go through rough time with his thesis and his meal time became irregular. It just feels really bad knowing that I am not fulfilling my responsibilities as a wife. However we tried to still make it work. Alhamdulillah with the help of our lovely Malaysian neighbours, they took over my role of providing food for my husband during the hectic period. Alhamdulillah for our Singaporean neighbours, they provided comfort and company for him. It’s a no wonder why Islam places such importance of being good to your neighbours. Although it is never the same, but I am ever thankful for what Allah SWT has granted us with and may Allah SWT reward abundantly to those who have made my husband’s life a lot easier.
Being in a LDR has taught me not to be overly dependent on my husband Before we took this decision, I was always with my husband 24 hours. So when I woke up one morning, realising that my life won’t be the same any more and knowing that I was all on my own two feet, I felt lost. Slowly I began learning to put my 100% trust in Allah SWT. I asked Allah SWT to protect my husband like He always do. I asked Allah to grant us strength and ease our affairs. Time and again, He never fails on us and insyaAllah never will.
If you are currently in a LDR, hang in there and always remember the initial reason why you made the decision. You know you will be strong with Allah alone and you are practising the highest of tawakul for leaving your spouse under the care of Allah SWT. That’s why you were strong in making that heavy decision to be apart from your spouse cz it is always about Allah SWT.
So if you are married and you want to pursue your knowledge but you have to be apart from your spouse, you need to have a good reason for not bringing your spouse along. Both parties need to agree on the decision. As for my husband and I, we had no choice because I met him when I was in my first semester and I already took a long study leave after that. Any more longer, the university will ask me to leave forever and never come back. Huhu. It was my husband’s principle too that I should never stop my education no matter what happens. Most importantly before making any life-changing decision, you must pray istikharah and let Allah SWT decide for you.
Oh yeay Alhamdulillah! I managed to get this published! Woots woots! Hehe…